I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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