he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She even gives head with a lisp.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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