Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize