You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize