all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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