I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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