I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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