And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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