She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize