I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
