So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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