i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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