so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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