go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
