Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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