so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
