I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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