you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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