Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
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Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
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I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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