fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize