No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..