you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.