I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.