idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.