You're my little dorito
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize