We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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