I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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