you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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