yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
