i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
