Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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