Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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