Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
