its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm bleeding and have questions
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
