Where did you get a picture of my penis
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize