I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
