hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize