Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
