Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
