hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
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i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
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he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?