That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
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He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.