Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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