I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
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For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
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So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities