She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.