My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?