And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
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after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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