you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
