so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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