Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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