There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
