I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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