It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
