she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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