Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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