I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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