Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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